You would think a retired hitman would know better than to answer a knock at the door, on a snowy winter’s evening, without bringing his gun along.

Let’s stop right there. I rarely if ever heard anybody in the killing game use the word "hitman," except in an arch manner. They would just refer to themselves as professionals, and the prior job as a piece of work they’d done. Anyway, I had no reason to think at this late stage of my existence that I might be the target of a contract killing myself.

While we’re at it, nobody in the business called the target a "target," either. A "mark" maybe. But more often the "subject." To be fair, we did use "hit" sometimes. It’s just that a lot of nonsense has been written about my former profession and I like to keep the record straight.

In my slight defense, I had only done contract killing for five years or so, a long time ago. Right after I got home from Vietnam and nobody except a pompous, well-dressed son of a bitch called the Broker (long dead now) had any work to offer me of any kind. I had auto mechanic skills but even the repair garages were fussy, after I kicked the jack out on a sportscar my wife’s boyfriend was working under. No, I did no time for killing the prick—I was back from the war and traumatized and they decided not to throw my ass in prison. Not that they had any work for me, either.

At least in stir I could have made license plates.

Now when I say I only worked as a contract assassin for five years or so—as if that takes the sting out—I am omitting that I wound up with what I called the Broker’s list. You’d call it a database today, but we didn’t have home computers yet, and it was actually a little metal recipe box with names and phone numbers and other info, which I used for a decade or so to track my fellow contract workers to their next jobs. I would then approach their marks and offer my services.

That included taking out the usual two-person team sent in to do the job, which of course I’d already surveilled, and tracking down who had taken out the hit, and removing that individual. The Broker had acted not only as agent for these professionals, but as buffer for his clients, meaning who had sent them was rarely known to the assassins. So determining who wanted the subject dead, and removing that party, was the tricky part, and I’d charged big for that.

Still, if you think about it, I’d only been in the killing business for fifteen or twenty years or so, and that was decades ago. Since then I’d run a couple of legit businesses, and had been married twice, first to a sweet simple soul who’d become collateral damage when my past caught up to me. Just last year my second wife, as smart as her predecessor wasn’t, fell prey to Covid. Janet had been a librarian who’d inherited a lot of money when I figured out why I’d been lured out of my previous retirement to kill her, and decided to wed her instead. Required removing a few assholes from the planet to do so, but nothing in life is free.

Anyway, generally I understand that my personal history is a rocky one, and you don’t answer the door without brushing back the curtain facing the deck, and checking to see who the hell had come calling.

Wasn’t like I didn’t take precautions. In the years since my killing people for Uncle Sam, and then in civilian life killing for profit, I’d had the past come hit me in the face now and then like a loose board. So I had guns salted all around the great room (as my late wife called it) of the two-story cabin-in-name-only that came along with Sylvan Lodge, where I’d been a sort of caretaker till Janet, my wife, inherited money and we bought the place.

It was a seasonal business, shuttered right now, so having somebody knock at my door would generally get my attention. I would reach my hand down between the cushions of whatever chair or couch I might be lounging in, in front of the fieldstone fireplace over which my flat-screen TV perched, and be ready to rumble.

Of course I’m not as ready to rumble as I once was. But there were worse-in-condition seventy-one-year-olds around. I was slim and I worked out three days a week and swam daily in the fitness center across from the main resort building, where even the convenience store and its gas station were closed for the season.

True, I’d had double bypass surgery a few years ago, but I had lost my paunch after Janet died and my five-ten was strictly muscle and tendons and veins and the kind of steel-gray hair that had waitresses still giving me a come hither look even at this late date. Of course the Brainerd bunch all knew I had money, so that was probably it.

The knock was insistent but not obnoxious and I went right over to it, without checking out the glass of the double doors to see what car might be pulled in past the deck, without looking through the damn peek hole, not even digging one of those cushion-tucked handguns out. What an idiot.

In my pitiful defense, I have to say my daughter Susan had been staying with me over Christmas. I’d even put a tree up, an artificial fir from Wal-Mart—Sylvan Lake was ringed with the real thing and I was not about to buy one—and draped white lights were still twinkling even now. Past the double doors that overlooked the deck, the plastic pine stood in the corner like a naughty child.

Susan had just left in her silver Cadillac CT5, after sharing an awkward hug—neither of us comfortable with that kind of thing—and she’d been gone only fifteen minutes, give or take, and I figured she’d forgotten something and come back for it.

Only it wasn’t Susan.

The man on my doorstep, lost in a black topcoat with elaborate lapels, was rather small, perhaps five-seven, and he had the professional look not of an assassin but of perhaps an accountant. His hair was black mingled minorly with white, his eyes were blue and rather large behind wire-frame glasses, and he had the kind of trim mustache you used to see little guys wear trying to look like Clark Gable.

Of course he was maybe thirty-five and likely never heard of Gable.

"Mr. Keller?" he said, in a pleasant tenor. He had a toothy smile that went well with it.

Jack Keller was how they knew me around here. I’d had a lot of names, none my own, going all the way back to when I signed on with the Broker.

"I’m Jack Keller," I said, friendly, keeping all the tightness inside, watching his hands, which were in black leather gloves, folded in front of him.

"I apologize for just dropping by," he said. "I did leave several messages on your machine."

"Oh. You’re Mr. Duval. I did get your messages. You didn’t say what you wanted, so frankly I didn’t bother responding."

"Well, I can understand that." He shivered. "Quite a cold snap, this evening. Any chance I could step inside?"

If this was a threat, if this small, pleasant individual was here to kill me, better to handle this now. Better to deal with him on my terms. On my turf.

"Sure," I said, backing up, gesturing toward the two-story open-beamed great room, adjacent to a small modern kitchen tucked under the partial second floor. "Let me take your coat."

"No, that’s all right," he said. "I won’t take up that much of your time."

Moving with confidence, but not quickly enough to cause alarm, he headed toward the nearest chair, a comfy leather number with cushions. And a .22 revolver stuffed safely away between the latter, which of course he did not know about. A glass-topped coffee table was in front of him and he caught the edge of the fire I had going, which cast some orange and blue reflections on him.

He got out of his gloves and tucked them in his pockets. I was a coiled spring waiting for him to come back with a gun. All right, a senior-citizen coiled spring....

But his hands were empty, and he used them to quickly unbutton his coat, which he shrugged off and put behind him like a cocoon he’d crawled out of. He flickered with fire, some of it bouncing off the coffee-table glass. He lifted his right hand toward his jacket, also black, though his tie added some Christmas color, red-and-white slanting stripes like a candy cane that melted.

He was a festive undertaker in all that black.

Of course, I was in black, too. Black sweats, black running shoes. Nothing the color of a candy cane on me, though. I was standing there taking in my guest and his careful moves. At the moment that right hand near where his white shirt and black jacket met was frozen in mid-air, as if it hadn’t recovered from the chill yet.

"I’d like to interview you, Mr. Keller," he said. "For the Star Tribune? Might I record us on my phone?"

I was ready for him, so I said, "Why not?"

He got his phone out, slowly, and tapped its face a few places, then set it on the coffee table. Nothing suspicious about it, except the care he took making it look like nothing suspicious.

My arms were at my side. Folding them would have been dangerous. Foolhardy, even. And I’d already been foolhardy enough.

"Why in the world," I said pleasantly, serving up a smile, "would you want to interview me? I manage a tourist lodge. That’s the start and finish of it."

"I’ve spoken to some folks here in Sylvan Lake," he said, and he meant the nearby little town of Sylvan Lake, not underwater, "and you have a sterling reputation."

Nobody had ever referred to my reputation as sterling before, not even in this straight life.

But I said, "Well, that’s good to hear."

And that did sound like the kind of artificial tripe somebody writing for a newspaper might come up with.

"If I could make a suggestion," I said casually, as I edged past the coffee table and came around and sat in the comfy chair adjacent (but not quite next) to him, "you’d do me a lot more good if your paper ran something after the season starts. My activities when we’re shut down could be summed up in a few lines."

Duval turned in his chair so he could face me. Leaned forward, folded his arms and let them hang between his legs. "Meaning no offense whatsoever, Mr. Keller, you are not the subject of the piece."

"Oh?"

"No. It’s your daughter."

Not what I wanted to hear.

I gestured easily toward the lake. "Well, you just missed her. She spent Christmas with me. She’s on her way home now."

"I’m aware of that," he said, and laughed a little as if that were amusing. "My editor has already arranged for a stringer...that’s a journalist there in the Quad Cities, where your daughter lives...to do an interview with her."

"I know what a stringer is," I said, perhaps just a little testy.

"My editor wants pictures of her at home," he explained, "in her work area. And I understand the house she’s in was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, so we’ll get some interesting pictures, I’m sure."

"Actually it’s not by Wright. It’s a knockoff of one of his houses, but it is pretty cool. You’ll get some nice pictures. You’ve set this up with her already?"

He nodded, his smile settling on one side of his face, the skimpy mustache coming along for the ride. "We have. Or I should say my editor has."

"She didn’t mention it."

He frowned a little, mildly surprised, or pretending to be. "Would she generally share that kind of thing with you? Publicity of that sort?"

"Why wouldn’t she?"

"Why would she?" This was affable enough, followed by a shrug. "Mr. Keller, you should be a proud father. Your daughter is a very successful person. A writer of some renown."

I was already on alert, but now the hairs on the back of my neck had come to attention.

"I am proud of her," I said. "But I’m not much interested in true-crime stuff."

"Surely she’s spoken to you about her book Sniper being optioned by the movies."

"She may have mentioned that in passing."

"It’s really a masterpiece of its kind." His left hand painted a picture in the air. "Sniper—The Killer Who Came Home. A normal Midwestern boy is twisted into a killing machine for his country. I understand Matt Damon is interested."

"I wouldn’t know."

He sighed, leaned forward even more. "Let me be frank."

He could be Frank or Oscar or Harry, as far as I was concerned.

But I said, "Please."

"Our research indicates you and your daughter had no known contact prior to a little over a year ago. Were you estranged? If I might ask."

"You might ask, but I’m not inclined to answer. You’re wading into rather personal territory."

He raised his palms in surrender. "Fair enough." He leaned back in the chair. "Are you by chance aware of an article that appeared in a publication called Paperback Quarterly?"

"No."

And I wasn’t. I had never heard of it.

His shrug was more elaborate this time. "Well, why should you be? It’s a minor publication. For fans of pulp fiction. Afficionados of literary junk food."

"I like westerns myself."

"I prefer cinema. Foreign cinema, actually."

"I was including spaghetti westerns."

He laughed. "Ah! Sergio Leone! The best. I knew we’d find some common ground."

I was very close to killing him. My hand had slipped down between the cushions and was gripping a .22 semi-automatic. It wasn’t really what he had said, or what he was saying: it was that he was morphing into another person. He was letting the mask slip, whether on purpose or not I couldn’t tell you.

He raised a hand and waved it a bit, as if indicating he was moving on to another topic. Or in this case, back to one.

"Now, this publication for fans of old paperbacks. One of them did an interesting article about a series of books about a character called Quarry."

Oh, he was going to die, all right. Unless I did.

"In these novels, Quarry was a sniper in Vietnam who came home and found himself cuckolded by his young wife. He killed the wife’s lover...dropped a car on him, actually...and went to work for someone called the Broker. A sort of agent for hitmen."

Again, we rarely used that word.

"Now, the names in Susan Breedlove’s book, Sniper, were different. Quarry was something else, the Broker was something else. But this little article, this obscure little article, paralleled the books in that cheap series of novels that appeared way back in the mid-1970s, with your daughter’s true-crime account. An eerie coincidence, don’t you think?"

The .22 auto came out a little slow, caught by the leather of the cushion, and my slight fumble gave him time to rock back in the chair and take it with him, and after he and it went down, he had something to hide behind.

But he didn’t come up and return fire.

Of course, he didn’t know a gun was tucked away between the cushions of the very chair he was hiding behind. So what his thinking was, I couldn’t tell you. Every pro in the killing business has his own way of doing things. Some specialize in vehicular homicide. Others use their hands. Some plant explosives. To each his own.

But what was this guy’s jam, as the kids say?

"I researched you, Keller," he said. From behind the chair, on its side now, he had a muffled sound. "You’re a rich man. You can buy me off. For the right price I’ll give you my broker’s name, and you can work your way back to whoever wants you dead. I don’t know who that is, of course. Things haven’t changed that much in the trade since you were in it. There’s still that buffer. Interested?"

"I might be," I said.

I was on my feet, facing the chair on its side. The coffee table was off to my right slightly and the fire was cracking and crackling and throwing shadows and making shapes.

He crawled out and, with his hands high, stood.

Here’s where I went wrong. I should have shot him immediately. In a way, I got greedy—not the money kind of greedy, the greedy for information variety.

Some kind of rig on his wrist fed his right hand a knife, a stiletto switchblade that he clicked open and hurled at me and it caught my sleeve and some skin too but it was mostly the surprise that sent the .22 flying from my hand and onto the fieldstone hearth.

So that was his fucking jam.

A blade man, one of the sickest kind of fucks in a business littered with sick fucks. And he had another damn stiletto switchblade, probably more than just one, in the pocket of his suit jacket, and that came out and clicked, too, as he charged at me with it in his fist, raised to stab.

We didn’t have much distance between us, but I jockeyed around to put the coffee table in the way of his assault, and he had to circle it before he could dive at me and I grabbed the cell phone he’d put on the glassed top and flung it, hard, and it caught him in the chest, knocking him back, back-pedaling into that chair on its side he’d been hiding behind.

But he still had the knife, and even as he bumped hard against that sideways chair he had the presence of mind and the dexterity to flip positions of the weapon, to go from a fist that was ready to stab downward to an upward blade held by tight curled fingers and a guiding thumb.

That gave me pause and I eyed the .22 on the hearth and went for it.

He was fast. No question. He was right there to kick the .22 away. He had the knife in hand, his fist still holding it in that upward manner, where he could guide it with surgical skill. In an eye blink he retrieved the .22 and was pointing it at me with his left hand while the blade in his right scolded me like a sharp finger.

"You’re him, aren’t you?" he said.

His voice was different now. The mustache—Christ, it was fake, it was hanging from his lip like a half-picked scab! And the hair was askew—a wig! This bastard really went all the way. Disguises, stiletto switchblades up the wazoo—I didn’t know whether to admire him or fit him for a straitjacket.

"Sure," I said, looking up as the fire did its demonic dance on the hovering figure. "I’m him. But who’s him?"

"You’re Quarry! You’re fucking Quarry!"

"Well, you win the Powerball, dipshit."

I kicked him in his balls, only they weren’t so powerful, because the pain doubled him over and he stumbled backward and I tackled him.

I’ll be honest with you. Like I said, I am in good shape for seventy-one. And this guy was smaller than me. But he was also younger, by a quarter century at least. That he had a gun in one hand and a knife in the other made wrestling with him tricky. He caught me with a few shallow stabs in the back and batted me a couple times with that .22, and then he squirmed out of my grasp and was standing over me with the automatic pointing down at me, the small black barrel looking bigger than anything I’d ever seen. Like it could swallow me.

Forever.

The gunshot that rang out in the high-beamed room made me shudder, like a kid fooled by a jump scare in a horror movie.

But the bullet flew over my head and thunked into a wall or somewhere, and my faux-journalist guest straightened, as if something above him had caught his attention. His candy-cane tie ribboned red, while the fireplace continued its devilish dervish. He joined in, dancing on dead feet, well just shuffling really, before tumbling onto his back as the twinkling white lights of the Christmas tree in the corner welcomed him to oblivion.

With him on his back, someone else was revealed, someone who had come in the door unheard, a beautiful woman of indeterminate age, in a white fur-collared parka over a black jumpsuit, her hair black now (it had been blonde), her high-cheekboned face with its Asian-cast features shockingly familiar.

I was still on the floor, leaning on my elbows.

"Lu," I said. "Aren’t you dead?"

Her voice was familiar, too; throaty, sultry.

"Only on paper," she said.


Copyright © 2024 by Max Allan Collins

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